Oh, * chuckles * didn’t see you there. My name is Custard X, small time bra, thoroughbred Cape Tonian and all round great guy. Why custard, you ask? Because I am an ultra mal nai and I posses the ability to enter through the exit. The views that I express within these words are of my own authenticity and I need you, as the reader, to identify my perspective, and accept it.
“Bru are you alright?” Was the first thing I heard as my eyes began to peel open amidst the crisp Darling sun. I looked up in hopes to see who beckoned behind the voice and saw what I can only describe as a beautiful chocolate skinned Rastafarian.
“Bra, do you know you were using an empty can of water as a pillow?” Cheapest fucking pillow money can buy. That ‘pillow’ cost me R5 and although I didn’t purchase it for the purpose of comfort, I did however, sleep beautifully. Now wide awake, your boy, Bert (that’s me) hopped up like a spring chicken and searched his pockets for his life, basically: a Huawei P8, 4 loose entjies, a debit card and a packet of squashed Nik Naks – you know, for the sustenance. The sky had a majestic purple hue to it, indicating that the evening was about to commence. Weather wise, I’d say it was partly cloudy with a 95% chance of inebriation – perfect conditions for tekkie squeaking. I staggered out of whomevers campsite I was at and shouted to a group of nearby pedestrians, “Jy, what campsite is this?”
They didn’t answer me, so I wysed them their msp, silently, and continued on with my journey back to the action. It’s always on these solo missions where one truly experiences the greatness that is RTD. The amount of smiles and giggles you get from complete strangers, you’d swear you were grocery shopping at Woolies. Sometimes you’re like “No seriously, bra, what are you looking at?” and then you realise it’s because, you’re so sunburnt you look like a Normies blazer.
Making my way through the main entrance to the dancefloor(s) one couldn’t help but identify and recognise the effort that went in to organising an event of this magnitude. Props, lights and aesthetically pleasing decorations could be spotted a mile away. The visual display at the Hotel Soulection stage was better than any movie I’d ever watched. That kak gave me the ability to see in 4D. The template was similar to last years ‘trap house’, only it had been improved tenfold by the guys down at West Cost Customs. That’s a joke. The place looked so inviting that I wanted to go make an inquiry to rent out a room. Another joke. Witnessing the sets of Full Crate, J ROBB, Monte Booker, SANGO and ESTA, to name a few, was quite simply, mind blowing. The Soulection on a large scale music production sounds as good as it feels, and I mean that literally.
Having the ability to freely roam backstage, I bumped into George Avakian, who runs RTD, and Lennox Bacela, who used to run… The 3 of us had a chat about real estate, avocado prices and, of course, the pulsating differences, musically, that Daisies featured in this year’s edition. I continued on my trek to the Oasis stage, which was the newly improved Beach Bar from last year. A laser display had been included which frequently changed and manifested with the beat. There was a moment when I literally just had a seat, put my neck back, and enjoyed the eye candy. It was like I was at the IMAX. By this time, Das Kapital had began his opening set for the This Ain’t Bristol Takeover, and was doing what he does best: destroy ears.
Unfortunately, because I am a ladies man, I had a viewing date under the star lights with a beautiful young Dutch lady who had a school girl crush on East-Atlantan singer/songwriter, 6lack (pronounced Black). Being one of the headliners, 6lack performed at the Lost City stage. This stage had slight differences compared to the other two, but was nonetheless a colossal platform that was wildly accepted. He performed hits such as “Free”, “East Atlanta Love Letter” and the world renowned single, “Problems”. I saw his set to its completion (I feel like that’s what he would have wanted) and waited for him backstage. I received a lekker moist handshake and told him that “Ex Calling” had sentimental value to me. He replied with a, “Just change your number, dawg.”
Can’t even make this kak up, lol…
I headed back to the Oasis stage to see the likes of Bart B More, and then, Billy Kenny. Absolute legends on the international scene. All around me were scenes of jubilation as people from all corners of the area were having it. The place erupted into chaos. I saw this one bra throw his shoes into the crowd. This other kin started taking her top off but then stopped, fortunately – she wasn’t reg. Thankfully, I was pushed and pulled to the bar where I was forced to have enough tequila to feed a small alcohol dependent village. I staggered and stumbled with the words of well known german philosopher, Derrick Watts, lingering on the cusp of my kop, “The cooking comes from within, boet”.
“Pardon me?” replied the lady standing next to me.
Realising that I had just said that dom kak out loud, I quickly thought of a comeback that would justify the spew of garbage that I had accidentally released from my bek, but before I could say anything, she walked away, probably because she didn’t give a fuck, lol. I was so drunk that allegedly took my phone out and started yelling “THIS IS A DETONATOR!” Did I mention that I watch too many Bruce Willis movies? While heading back to the d-floor, I observed a man being arrested for being in possession of two guns and 6 pack – he looked like a body builder.
Having been on stage the night before for YoungstaCPT and The Muffin Man’s performance, I have to say, Y?GEN have become a force to be reckoned with, on a global scale. Youngsta’s stage presence and ability to interact with the crowd is thoroughly entertaining, always. The same can be said for alternative rapper, singer, songwriter, Amine, who performed hit singles, “Caroline”, “Red Mercedes” and “Reel It In.” Experiencing a triple-platinum selling artist live and in person, was truly phenomenal, but we’ve become so desensitised towards it, due to what we’ve come to expect from RTD. Local acts such as Dunn Kidda, NV Funk and K-$ truly excelled on the biggest stage this country has to offer, and it is always a great experience seeing fellow capetonians grow and develop in the manner in which they have. Watching Mura Masa perform “Firefly” from backstage was a moment that I’ll take to the grave. That bru is literally a full man orchestra and is unbelievable to watch, live.
RTD received a lot of stick on social media from party goers for changes that they felt would have detrimental effects on their experience. I didn’t see this in person. In person, fun was had, a true music experience was felt and naaiers looked genuinely happy. Rocking The Daisies, for locals, is in our culture. It is our very own Coachella, right here in our backyard. With this being said, I cannot wait to see what they have in store for us come 2019.
Awe, if you’ve made it this far without throwing up, here are some points to remember: 1) I am Custard X and I put women first. 2) Canned water is now all I consume and, 3) life begins at the end of your comfort zone, stop thinking about dom kak and just live.
Thank you Rocking The Daisies for an unforgettable weekend. I have now destroyed 6 of you in a row.
Follow me on Twitter: @Custard_X_